hmm...

last friday wanted to wrk half day nia...but nose was bleeding on and off for days... thurs nite was bleeding when i was aslp.. so basically, i woke up in a POOL of blood? LOL... =p ended up... fri told boss nt coming to wrk ler... noon went to shoppin alone at orchard, doing some last min shopping for new year clothes... bought 2 blouses...

did spring cleaning till whole body aching... (old liaoz) so many things to clear and clean...

forgot wad i did for past few days... -_-

logged in to friendster after a LONG long time... and i'm right... (ger's 6th sense or intuition is normal accurate) Zhu Ni Xing Fu Kuai Le... i'm serious and sincere wishin u this.... tink wadever u wan... but it doesnt matter to me anymore ler...

the moment i really cfm wad i've guessed was correct... i'm startin to hav mixed feelings... happy/sad? i dunno... part of me says... i'm happy for u coz u finally found sm1 u loved and love u alot... the other says... no more miracles? no more chances...

anyway... now there's a reason to let go... thoroughly forget and let go... nw tat u've found ur happiness... i shd oso work hard to find mine too... altho i dunno whr to start frm... but i've gotta figure it out some way someday...

it took me 2yrs to realize tat life has been horrible and terrible and painful for me during these 2yrs... it takes alot of courage to wait and like someone for so long, awaiting recipocal... u tell urself... it doesnt matter even if he doesnt recipocate... but deep inside, u noe tat u really really hope that or want him to... =)

contradicting? contradicted... =]

nw... juz hope to start a new chapter ler... start to hunt and find happiness that is MINE... someone who will make me happy and smile again... sharing my happiness and sorrows... and be tolerant of me, coz i'm abit sotong cum naggy... LOL.. =p

so nw, i shall open my DOOR...(door of my heart) to welcome anyone in... haha... provided ppl wan to enter la... LOL...

cny day1:
went over to grandma hse pai nian... tis yr angbao decreased alot... many ppl din come... and i got teased by relatives -_- but thanks to one uncle's compliments, "i've seen u from a small little ger, grown up now becum a sweet ger.." (dun vomit K...) haha... i'm sweet... coz i'm candiES... =x

after visiting, went to meet up wif ite classmates... 9 of us watched Fearless... Jet Li's fighting movie... nt bad la... would rate it 7 or 8/10...

cny day2:
went over to dad's relatives tat side for visiting... 3 storey high private apartment... climb till ai xi lor... (age catching up wif me) -_- hse nice, but tink of cleaning and climbing... BEST hor... -____-|||

shall update my cny day3 onwards another day LOL...



today... badddddddd day at work...

(let me destress)

$#W@#%E$$%^&**(HJBGVFXVB b gfxcfch m dv&T^&&^8978u90@@@@@

tmd...

many weeks of budgeting... almost coming to an end.. then tis bloody colleague of mine tis morning told me hav to redo everything...

wad the hell lor... tink so ez to do ah... wah piangz...

seriously hor... my 3mths workin in tis company, only one colleague giv me suan till damn sacarstic b4 nia leh... the rest i treat nice nice and smile nicely to them...

mayb she wans to be the 2nd one? starting frm last wk, my words to her alrdy sound COLD... hidden sword beneath my words... cant be bothered liaoz... nt happy then ask me leave lor...

i'm proud of myself, coz i've learnt and know sth which the rest of my colleagues doesnt know... so? i am great... Wahahaha...

kiam tio par leh, testing my patience... and tryin to train my tolerance level hor...

very buey gum wan to redo everythin lor... but bo bian... ppl got relations or "guan xi" come in de leh.. i only a small admin nia...

everythin ren REN and REN... tolerate... if nt for manager, i tink i would haf stand up, take my bag and leave...

i realized sth today... if u cant work... dun TOK so loud eh... disturb ppl nia... imagine u sitting beside a LOUDSPEAKER for 8hrs/day...

if she quietly do her work or read her emails still nvm... tmd... dedicate work ask me do, then kip on tok grandmother story to me, wan me to listen... then when i cant finish my work on time... WHOSE FAULT AH?

tok on fone wif vendor like wan to let the WHOLE office know which vendor owe u quotations etc... i hear liaoz damn frustrated lor...

and wads the big deal even if u hold a HIGHER post than me? i respect the clerk more than u lor... holding a higher post only means ur pay's higher or qualifications better than me nia or experience more than me... but doesnt mean u noe more than me LOR.. Booo~~

i hate being dedicated tasks to do at 5pm SHARP... when u jolly well know tat i end work at 530pm... yah.. work OT... u tink enuff to cover meh... and the bloody HR so kay gao... 530-6pm no pay de lor... then can i tell u i work OT frm 6pm onwards? coz during tat half hr no pay... -_-

nw i really heck care liaoz... time's up i go home... anythin... tell me the nxt day... cant finish on time? IS IT MY PROBLEM? No... =) u noe u only got ONE admin asst, nt MANY... so wad u expect... not tat i eat snake or do other things nt related to work... BAaaa....

still striving hard to find a better job... wahahaha...

cny's coming... tis yr hope can meet angbao quota... LOL...
v-day's coming... but i gt no valentine... Haha...

-end-

so damn angry and fed up...



Hmm...

ate lots of gd food last week... feelin abit sinful... haha

Last thurs, vendor treated us lunch at Raffles Marina... Italian set lunch~~~ =D~~~ delicious... evening went to watch Memoirs of a Geisha... not bad... got storyline... this is the first time i went to watch a movie wif Zhang Ziyi acting in it... LOL... coz dun really like her.. i dunno y =x

anyway... michelle yeoh so CHIO... =D~~~ zhang ziyi became a geisha to be closer to the man she loves...

fri... went to IMM's Hoshi (Japanese Restaurant) after work to celebrate colleague's last day, as well as a farewell dinner for her... nice food..... and had a great time... played games and laughing our hearts out... in office u wouldnt hear this kind of laughter... LOL... stayed there for a few hours till ard 10+ and home sweet home...

sat... went for la-kopi session at westmall wif my jiemeis... after a LONG LONG time... the last time we met was my bday... LOL...

sun... spring cleaning at home... cleaned my dusty room and i oso becum dusty.. LOL sneezed whole day... and today sick lor.. nv go work coz gt bad cold... =p

waitin for pay to come in... haiz... tis mth spent alot on hair and a pair of sandals.. >.<





3mths at current company... hmm... realized staff turnover rate quite high, on the average, ard 1-2 ppl resigns every mth...

tis coming fri is my colleague's last day, and she's gonna resign to be a hsewife -_- abit she bu de... coz she treats me well... always FEEDING me wif FOOD... -_-||| chocolates, sugar rolls from polar (my fave), bread, swiss roll... BREAKFAST~~~ =D

suddenly i realized i did learnt sth during my 3mths of work... can see tat the process of buying/purchasing materials for production is so LONG...... first need to do tis, then tat, and then tat... then... etc etc...

we've come so far... now at budgeting part liaoz... everyday see spreadsheets after spreadsheets, updating figures after figures, then do STUNTS... LOL now i am EXCEL pro OKAY~~~ LOL dun play play... at least i've learnt ALOT abt EXCEL when i used to hate it...

decided to extend another 2mths' contract wif them... coz ppl LIKE me? LOL... wan to change job leh.. but dunno wad job suitable for me, and recently not much jobs postings to my liking... so nth to apply recently... at least extend for another 2mths, then i can write in resume proudly - 6MTHS ADMIN ASSIST supporting PROCUREMENT and PRODUCTION ENGINEERING DEPTS, in ABCD Company... hahaha

tot of furthering studies by taking up courses, but tink of the $... sianz... no $ no tok, no studies LOL...

was bz wif work today, sat beside manager (Stressed!!!)
received ur sms... dunno to feel glad or sad... suddenly my emotions gt mixed up...

u r far... but u seemed so near... but wad i noe is... i will never be able to reach u... =|

lots of thought running through my mind at moment, suddenly i stopped everythin i did, juz stare blankly at ur msg, wif no expressions... was tinking... why and how did things turn out tis way... werent we happy in the very beginning? why did u choose to let go or giv up...... manager cut short my tots when he saw me expressionless... LOL and asked me wad happened...

in the past, hw i wished we can turn back time and return to the time when we were so happy together... but now... zZz

juz like playing monopoly or millionaire... Fate or Chance?

meaning of Fate: inevitable events predestined by supposed force, principle, or power.

meaning of Chance: The unknown and unpredictable element in happenings that seems to have no assignable cause.

to know u... Fate (tat FATEful day)
meet u... Chance
be wif u... Chance? i chose to be wif u.

breakup?

Chance. but not chosen by me

nitez ppl~~~
bedtime... tml's another brand new WORKING day... LOL =p



quite a few things to blog... hahaha... long grandmother story liaoz... =p

anyway... tired and bz for the past few days including today...

was feeling unwell few days ago... (jialat leh... pain always come and go... every mth sure once or twice lydat...weak stomach/intestines?)

tis week like only wrk for 2 full days, 2 half days... half days due to time off in the mornin to attend interviews... $$ sure little when payday comes... >.<

one interview was at wdl industrial estate as a product & design asst... lol... quite interestin de position... agency intro de... i realized the agency quite fast and efficiency leh... one day can call many times to tell me gt so many jobs and ask me whether interested anot, they help me apply...

ystday returned to wrk after a day's rest at hm... many things to do... tio stressed... tis colleague ask me do tis, asst manager asked me do tat... do till ai xi lor, and ai faint... like gg to tio strangled lydat... one asked me help her wif powerpoint, another say do excel... (i was thinkin to myself - might as well when u go for presentation, i present for u lah...) heng asst manager helped me deal wif it... LOL.. he told her (who asked me do powerpt), "u do her excel, i ask her do ur powerpt for u..."

she dunno hw to do excel... so she cfm say dun wan de... LOL...

wah lau.. i sit there whole day do excel de things... at 5pm... suddenly tell me wan tis and tat... then asked me tink by 530 can finish anot... of coz i say No... -_- bo bian lor work OT... left office by 7pm, asst manager so gd offer drive us to bishan... arbo if i ownself sit the bus go round and round the whole Tuas area, then mrt, it will take me ard 1hr+ to rch hm...

rch bishan liaoz, asst manager said... "eh we go ktv ai mai?" i tink i too stressed or tired to tink, i juz replied "go ktv for wad?" the rest burst into laughter and said... "ehh go ktv sing song lah... we not guys leh, cannt call for gers..." then only i realized i said sth funny (go ktv for wad) LOL...

in the end, everyone too tired for ktv... all went home...

tis morning woke up at 6+, went JB wif parents to get some cny goodies... bought quite alot... in the end buy liaoz hor i realized all they buy de is i wan to eat de.. LOL i juz say "mummy... buy lar... i wan this one tat one..." haha...

after shoppin, went for lunch at dunno whr... small stall selling all kinds of cooked poultry... chickens, ducks, goose, etc... nice to eat wor the pi pa duck... crispy de skin wif plum sauce... =D~~~ lao nua liaoz even when tinkin of it =p

suddenly realized... for many many yrs... when everyone's busy wif setting new resolutions for the NEW year... i'm not setting any... or coming up wif any resolutions... coz i'm too LAZY and oso i dunno wad resolutions to come up wif... LOL... to me, i juz live wif wad i haf... wad will happen will happen eventually? haha...

tis yr end, fren gg to get married, stressed leh... LOL... mus go tink wad to wear =x as if i get married hor? LOL... =p

cny coming... time to earn some $... Yeah ^^v but i havent plan my schedule... LOL...

is this considered a resolution(s)?
- get a stable job wif stable income, benefits, good colleagues
- be happy all year round
- get a bf/companion?
- make more better frenz
erm... cant tink of anymore ler... dun _stand y others can come up wif a long long list of resolutions, but i cant LOL...

anyway, those few seemed to be wad i wished for rather than RESOLUTIONS bah... LOL... but i tink top 2 are the most impt... colleagues whom are great makes ur day... imagine ur office all like zombies, everyone faces computer whole day, no one toks to u, no teabreaks... no occasional gossiping... die lor... i will definitely feel so sad workin there lor.. then my 8hrs of work will pass VERY slowly... as if workin for 16hrs... haha..

sometimes i wonder... not only life is fragile... r/s seemed to be fragile too... 1mth ago u can see wah tis who and who so loving... sure gd choice... scarli... 1mth ltr... all go separated ways... or lame reasons for breaking off... hear liaoz oso shake head... if life and people-to-people r/s are so fragile... then wad is the strongest thing in the world?

i nv really believed in r/s in the past until 2yrs ago, when i knew tis guy... he gave me a sense of security... he may not hav any best features, neither do i have any... but that pair of hands felt warm... cut short details lah.. but sad to say... tat hope of mine was shattered... :|

now... juz let nature take its course bah...
thanks for readin tis grandmother story of mine... LOL... abit too long i noe =x



was bz at work ystday, even tho ystday was officially my last day of work...

had to sort out the different parts for purchasing... learnt new things too... different parts such as screws and cables, harnesses belong to wad group etc... it wasnt long for me to get used to those groupings. =)

after sorting out, had to present those information & data on charts... quite fun doing charts lor...

everyone tried askin me to stay & extend my contract, and i rejected them......
even HR called me and talked to me, wanted to convince me to stay...

until 5.28pm (2mins b4 i end work), asst manager who sat behind me came to me and say... "candice... stay lah... other than monetary terms... wad else u wan, i try to giv u lah..."

LOL... dunno y, but feel so song when he said tat... =x

Clerk: "whole day she sit here do work, u nv wan to ask her to stay, 2mins b4 going home time then u say, too late liao..."

Asst Manager: "whole day i go meeting meeting leh, nw then i sit down got time, then saw her."

Me: "if i stay i mus stay and be bound by another 3mths de contract leh... 3mths + 3mths, u oso dun wan confirm me. i oso cant get a monthly salary, bo hua leh..."

Asst Manager: "ok lah... u stay, work till u find a perm job u can go ler. No contract, pay still the same, do the same job. u can go for interview anytime, juz let me noe can already."

Me: "sure ah? no contract? once i get a perm job offer i can leave hor? confirm? guarantee chop?" (lor soh de me =x)

Asst Manager: "Yah lah... faster leh... u wan to stay anot? if wan, i call XX (HR) to tell her liaoz..."

Me: "dunno leh... but lydat ma huan leh, i mus call agency inform them and tok to them..."

Asst Manager: "if u stay, i juz call XX to tok to them can already, u dun nid to so ma huan.."

Me: "ok... stay lor..." LOL

then when the colleague beside me hear this, she happier than me wor... grabbed my shoulders and YEAH -_-

nice of colleagues to gimmi a watch as my farewell gift (supposedly ystday was my last day)... like it v much lor... very my pattern... LOL shall take a pic of it one day... =p



The most beautiful things above the sky are the stars...

The most beautiful thing in our life is friendship...

Does it mean my life's not beautiful at this point of time?

hmm... *wonders*

stars are really beautiful... still waitin and findin a companion to accompany me for stargazing... =)

the last time i really sit down to relax and look up above the sky to c the stars is in may 2004... stars seemed so beautiful then... many stars shining... up above the world so high, like diamonds in the sky. even saw a shooting star, but too fast to even make a wish.

But then... will it come true if i really made a wish?

i'll wish...... to c the stars again wif u ;)

wad a beautiful dream zZz -_-



2years or soooo ago.......

i got to noe tis fren... somehow i felt tat she's a gd fren, and i confided in her most of the time... whenever i c her, i will always smile... BUT dun ask me y...

there were times that we were close... SO CLOSEeeee tat we can meet up most of the days in tat week... no other frenz hav i met up wif so often.

even when i go for holz, it may nt faraway places, BUT only malaysia... diff parts of malaysia... i'll buy something at least for her... it may nt be expensive, but it certainly do mean tat u as a fren mean ALOT to me......

seriously i dun expect u to return me wif LOTS of gifts... i juz wan a sincere friendship tats all...

ever since i've gone into the workin society... ask urself... am i more busy or r u even busier? when was the last time u dated me or we've gone out together? when i finally found time one day to discuss wif u a meeting session, all i get is disappointments... outings after work will normally be juz a dinner, some short shopping sessions and home sweet home, wad else do u expect? IT was lydis in the past.

moreover i'm workin the nxt day... AT TUAS... nt anywhere near to my place, i hav to wake up at 5+ and leave home by ard 630... cant u at least be more understandin mah?u werent like tis in the past lor... it was EASIER to date u then, and u wouldnt be tat particular on the things we gotta do or HAVE to do......

ni bian le... u've changed... i tink for a long time, asked myself whether am i the one who has changed? i realized No... its the people around me that has changed... changed for the bad or better, i dunno....... i really dunno...

wad i noe is, i dunno who to confide, who to trust or who to talk to......

most of the time i may be unhappy, but did u ever wonder y and wad makes me unhappy.
sometimes it may be r/s problems, BUT most of the times, FRIENDSHIPS makes me sad...

i'm nt the type to open up to anyone or everyone... at times, even when there may be misunderstandings, i wouldnt be bothered to explain myself much... coz WADS THE USE OF SAYING SO MUCH ANYWAY?

WOULD U LISTEN? WOULD U TAKE MY WORDS SERIOUSLY?

god knows, heaven knows... i dunno......



from today onwards... hmm...

my blogging style is gonna change...

it doesnt matter who reads or who does not read...

anyway... gonna blog it in a a way tat it runs like a story...

true or not, fiction or non-fiction...

it's up to YOU to decide...

do tink abt it or ponder over if its true? LOL

thank you =)



hoho...

finally gt time to upload pics... LOL

























hi all...first of all...

A happy 2006... =)

may tis new year be filled wif love, hope, peace & joy...

brand new year... new story, new chapter... leaving behind all the bad... yeah ^^

most imptly, stayin healthy & happy always.

***

hmm... last fri, the LAST working day of 2005, whole office only had the 11 of us... so quiet for the day... plus i gt nth much to do except to do some budgeting stuff for the purchasing of materials.

kept counting down to 530pm to knock off work... most of us were ready to chiong out of the building at 530pm SHARP... LOL

***

few of us met up ystday to celebrate new year's eve... went to eat Suki for lunch... bloody hell queue so long lor... orders took a long time to come too... dun feel happy eating oso, as quality of the food sux, service sux etc...

after tat went for some window-shopping... and caught a movie... KING KONG~~~ >.<

nice, touchin movie... beauty killed king kong... liked the part whereby king kong went "ice-skating" wif beauty? LOL... so LO-mantic wor... =p also.. it seems to feel comfy sleepin in king kong's "huai li"... haha =)

anyway, the movie's worth the $... personally would giv it 5/5... initially, i was reluctant to watch King Kong lor... tot it was a horrible show, coz i dun like apes? LOL... after watchin it, ehh nt bad leh... nt like wad i tot it was, BUT the creatures in the movie horrible lah... BLOW up till so big... piangz... abit gross LOL

after 3hrs of movie, went over to esplanade to c firewrks... woooo... beautiful... BUT packed wif ppl... but seriously felt tat if u were nt there to c the firewrks... u DID NOT celebrate new year.. LOL

***

tinkin of changin blogskin, but couldnt find any suitable or any which i fell in love wif... >.<